I am not a slave.

[meapet]

I am not a slave.
I cannot give up my emotions.
I cannot let someone else control how I feel about anything.
I'm too strong internally(hard headed) to let someone decide how I'm going to react.
I refuse to be upset because I disappointed someone by being upset about something they did.
I cannot sit idly by while something happens that seems to be wrong to me. Well, if its someone close to me that is.
I refuse to have someone cut my hair unless I feel it needs cut.
I refuse to have my birthday forgotten.
I refuse to have my birthday ignored.
I refuse to have my needs ignored.
I'm not a slave. I'm a submissive. And I'm proud of who I am, so fuck everyone else.

It really bothers me when I see a Dom with their "slave," but doesn't uphold them and cherish them the way they should be cherished, especially when the sub is more concerned about the Dom's well being than their own life. To be IDssapointed because they are almost in tears because of something going on, is just wrong. And I don't think its fair.
Hence the above list of grievances from me, who's been there.

Comments

[demariana.livejournal.com]

I think I understand where you are coming from.

I am a Domme, I am not a Fem Supremist. I do not believe men are the scum of the earth, to be stepped on and abused. I do not want a cowering slave, but a sub that has a mind of his/her own. I believe a sub is to be treasured and trained, teased and tormented. My desire is reactions. I believe in taking the sub's innermost secrets and desires and shape them into scenes we both can enjoy. I learn the triggers so that I may bring the submissive to a deeper headspace. Submission is a gift a person gives to their Dom. It is not something to take lightly or abuse.

[meapet.livejournal.com]

Brownie Points for Demariana :)

Some people...

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

Some people need to find their own path.
Some truly wish for slavery.
Some wish to serve submissivly.
Some (like me) are just greedy and want all the top can dish out.

It is not for others to tell people what their path is. They won't listen if they are not ready to hear and it becomes heartbreaking to the observer.

But there is one thing I have learned in my time in the scene (YMMV) - You can not serve another if you can not serve yourself. If self esteem is an issue, if you need constant praise, if disapointing someone is going to send you into hysterics, then you should not be in service to someone else.*

Yet there are some who need their lives micromanaged to the nth degree, and others who feel the need to do the micromangment. And that is ok too.

But it is good to see that you realized what is not for you. That realization is beyond "ok"... that is called "growing up."

You are going to be a beautiful woman when it all comes together. I can tell. :-)

*I've actually seen this in the Service Fraternity TK and I am in, so it's not just a scene thing.

Re: Some people...

[meapet.livejournal.com]

If self esteem is an issue, if you need constant praise, if disapointing someone is going to send you into hysterics, then you should not be in service to someone else.*

I don't belive this to be true.. Sometimes the Dom(me) in charge causes this reaction, due to incorrect discipline, etc. I know in my previous experience it was that way. Does that mean I should have never had the experience of my second relationship? I think not.
I believe reenforcement is part of the whole process. If you don't get the required amount, then there's a problem. Yes, I do believe some of this should be internal, but if a Dom(me) never gives any reenforcement but dissapointment and discipline, then of course you're going to be in hysterics when something goes wrong!
I have also found that during relationships, my self esteem is higher than at any other point in my life. I think if you feel inside you the will to serve, then you will serve. If the will is not there, then yes, you shouldn't be a submissive. Stick to topping or bottoming.