Pardon Me

[meapet]

Okay, I really need to quit. Or get some kind of acknowledgement. Every time an issue comes up and I try to handle it, I get yelled at. No, good job for at least attempting to do things the way I was taught to do them, but no, things have to always change. I know its because I'm a girl. It is really starting to piss me off. Can Paul never say good job? I've gotten Good Job once. When I was sobbing because I was having a hormonal issue in the middle of the issues going on. What is wrong with saying that I'm doing good? Is it just a stigma in our society that your superiors cannot tell you that you're appreciated? Gahh! That's all I want! I want to know that I'm appreciated. (And I know everyone's going to be, yeah yeah, join the club, but you know what? Fuck them. I need to rant a little bit. I'm very pissed and very upset about this. I work my ass off, when they're at home eating dinners with their families. I'm there at 6 in the morning on a SATURDAY, when I could be doing much better things, like sleeping in a warm bed, with a nice warm back. But instead no, I'm freezing to death in a goddamn server room, listening to people from India whine about the problem that they have rights to fix on their own side. And then someone has the Audacity to yell at me for not informing IT India, when they don't answer their Fucking phone! Its not My fucking fault that they don't have a fucking cordless like we do. And then Gajapathy tries to stick up for them by saying, well you know, we have 4 floors we have to take care of and only 2 people. While in the back of my head, I'm thinking, well I only have like 6 servers to take care of and I'm just one little goddamn person.
Did I neglect to mention at times, that I do have a temper? It normally doesn't rear its head so much, but I'm really getting tired of stuff. I really think I need to get away from people. Too many people in the world I want to beat to a pulp. That's when I know there's a problem.
Next stage of my frustration, I'm going to go cry because I hate being so aggressive. Then sleep. Must get away from places where I could get to food/drink. Since I can't have any until the morning. Wee.. at least I'll have good blood pressure for them taking it out.
Night.

Comments

[rialian.livejournal.com]

===Smite them. Smite is a good word....it is helpfull to the psyche. Smite them, wrap them in duct tape, and offer them to the spiders. You will feel much better, and the great blessings of the duct tape spiders will be upon you and will hold your appliances together when you most need them to be.

===This bit of wierdness brought to you by the perky power of the letter Bleem...the lost letter of the alphabet...

===(Grin)(ok..so I thought a bit of surreal might help...)

[meapet.livejournal.com]

You're really on a spider kick lately, aren't you? Were you bit by one or something?
Anyway, thanks for the comment, it did make me smile and feel better. I keep forgetting that I work in corporate america, in a field where girls are not as highly recognized for their determination and drive and work ethic (yes I know, on the weekends, you could say "What work ethic?" but ah well. I'm still just getting used to the fact that I'm not going to get reenforced the way I would like to be reenforced, really, in any job. Which is why I need to go into business for myself. I can reenforce myself with "thank you" trips to Penn Camera. Or to the mall to buy new jeans. And I can sleep in on the weekends! :)
Oh yeah.. I'm such a child of the 80's. Instant gratification on most things, or find another way to get what you want. Or something like that. I'm not supposed to be up this early.