Whatcha say sonny?

Had a very odd flash forward tonight, into my late future: sitting in a rocker, crocheting, with a big ole tabby cat in my lap. The only difference between me and my Gramma Clift would be the Marlboro in her mouth, caffeine free diet coke with a shot or two of crown royal, and she would have a Boston terrier in her lap. A very content feeling, but also a little scary. Especially since that's pretty much all I've done this weekend. So much so that I'm almost out of the primary color I need for the afghan I'm making. God I hope I get my unemployment. Its really getting kinda scary....

(no subject)

I am wayy to damn perky right now. I should be in the middle of an anxiety attack, but I'm not. I can feel it brewing though. And that worries me. Bt yet I'm still perky. I'm confused, my head hurts. I might go back to bed at this rate. More on stuffis later, or as it develops.

Starting to freak out again...

No word from unemployment, no yarn left to work on this afghan. No milk in the house, and I have one more weeks worth of food for Bocephus. I used dimes from under my bed to get hamburger rolls and some distilled water last night. I'm very scared, and very not in my good mind, and I'm getting very worried.Prents aren't making it better, because they keep asking me the same shit about money over and over. I haven't even had the good mindset to try my new enlarger. Its just sitting there at the foot of my bed, collecting dust since I'm almost out of compressed air to clean it with.

Fafsa says there really isn't anything that can be done about having to put my parents on my form, and claim myself as a dependant...even though I'm not one. So I'm not going to get as much financial aid as I thought I was going to...which more than likely means I'm not going to be able to go to school, cause dad's already said he's not helping me, and I don't have decent enough credit to get a student loan. Makes me wonder why I even try to be ambitious anyway.

I really was trying to fight this. Some things just can't be fought, I guess.