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Jan. 28th, 2002
I'm Horrified, and yet, laughing
Jan. 28th, 2002 05:20 pmJohn Ashcroft wants to register all non-terrorists!
http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/patriot/index.asp
Come be a patriot!
http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/patriot/index.asp
Come be a patriot!
Driving home last night, I was amazed at how far I've come. For some reason, whenever I listen to "Pure Energy," I get this weird reminiscent feeling. I look back at my live, and how far I've come. Such as last night. Just to think that a short amount of time ago, I was living in a small town, feeling like nothing exciting would ever happen to me in my life. I was going to wait until marriage for sex. I was a good Church going girl. I was going to just go to the mall one day, find the man of my dreams, and we would marry, I would have his children, and I would live the rest of my life in a small town, barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen. But something about that didn't fit me. As I got older, I realized that I didn't belong in the small town anymore. The small town was too small. I was never going to get anywhere I wanted to be in a small town. So I moved far far away. Well an hour away at least.
I began to realize that those thoughts that were instilled in me were not what I wanted to be. I didn't want to spend my life barefoot and pregnant. I really didn't want to wait until marriage to have sex. Everyone else had been talking about it, and the feelings inside of me began to grow. Why should I wait until I was married to have something like that. What if the man I married was a bad person, who didn't accept it for the gift it was. Yes, I realize the person I gave it to didn't really either, but he kinda did...
The thought of being tied up and being submissive crept into my head again. Daydreams and fantasies began to roam. Breaking up with the boyfriend in Canada made the opportunity I needed.
Of course you learn a lot from a dummy.
Now I look back and I still drive down the toll road, with a wide eyed fascination. Not because I'm doing it for the first time, but the fact that I am doing it. I'm driving it to go to my home, or to my office, or to my Master and Mistress' house. This is so amazing to me. I'm actually here. It's not a dream. I'm not going to wake up to find myself in Frederick still, with the same closed minded people. I'm going to wake up in my own bed, or if its one of those really special days, I'll wake up in bed with Mistress and Master.
Master said today that change is good, even bad change.You might want to keep this journal somewhere, cause I'll hardly ever admit this, but looking back, yes change is good. I like change.
I began to realize that those thoughts that were instilled in me were not what I wanted to be. I didn't want to spend my life barefoot and pregnant. I really didn't want to wait until marriage to have sex. Everyone else had been talking about it, and the feelings inside of me began to grow. Why should I wait until I was married to have something like that. What if the man I married was a bad person, who didn't accept it for the gift it was. Yes, I realize the person I gave it to didn't really either, but he kinda did...
The thought of being tied up and being submissive crept into my head again. Daydreams and fantasies began to roam. Breaking up with the boyfriend in Canada made the opportunity I needed.
Of course you learn a lot from a dummy.
Now I look back and I still drive down the toll road, with a wide eyed fascination. Not because I'm doing it for the first time, but the fact that I am doing it. I'm driving it to go to my home, or to my office, or to my Master and Mistress' house. This is so amazing to me. I'm actually here. It's not a dream. I'm not going to wake up to find myself in Frederick still, with the same closed minded people. I'm going to wake up in my own bed, or if its one of those really special days, I'll wake up in bed with Mistress and Master.
Master said today that change is good, even bad change.You might want to keep this journal somewhere, cause I'll hardly ever admit this, but looking back, yes change is good. I like change.
Finally done listening to calls of stupid people getting credit cards. Arrrgh its frustrating to work here.
But I just touched my back and felt the familiar lines of the scratching Master and Mistress gave me on Friday night. I must remember that my job is only a means to an end, and not something that should frustrate me. I know that something better will come along.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
But I just touched my back and felt the familiar lines of the scratching Master and Mistress gave me on Friday night. I must remember that my job is only a means to an end, and not something that should frustrate me. I know that something better will come along.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Finally done listening to calls of stupid people getting credit cards. Arrrgh its frustrating to work here.
But I just touched my back and felt the familiar lines of the scratching Master and Mistress gave me on Friday night. I must remember that my job is only a means to an end, and not something that should frustrate me. I know that something better will come along.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
But I just touched my back and felt the familiar lines of the scratching Master and Mistress gave me on Friday night. I must remember that my job is only a means to an end, and not something that should frustrate me. I know that something better will come along.
Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Okay, I swear this is the last post of the night!
Which Izzard Are You?
Kid Izzard: You still find a way to look at life in an innocent way, even though those around you marvel at your naive opinions. But the world wasn't made just for the grown-ups around you, so dodge your subway fare and get the most out of life!
Kid Izzard: You still find a way to look at life in an innocent way, even though those around you marvel at your naive opinions. But the world wasn't made just for the grown-ups around you, so dodge your subway fare and get the most out of life!